On Monday Gene asked if I want to go out for Valentines
night. At that time, I was feeling for some inexplicable reason not really
in the mood. It was probably because I
had already purchased strawberries for Valentines evening and had big chocolate
dipping plans.
On Valentines morning I realized that, Oh wait, this is a Holiday to celebrate
love, and I had not a card or even a shred of anything resembling a nice
gesture for my husband. (I did nag him about some fencing, but I don’t think
that counts as a nice gesture) I knew
myself well enough to know that last minute running to a store to buy a card
wasn’t going to happen, so while he was on his way out the door, I mentioned to
him please don’t get me anything, because I got you nothing.
We shared a nice little moment of understanding that our love would not tank
even if we didn’t really celebrate hugely. (Namely by exchanging cards for
roses) We’ve also kind of adopted a
family night tradition with Valentines.
It is a Big Deal to Elena. I was
good with doing the family thing. No I wanted to do the family thing.
Fast forward to suppertime.
I made a meal of tiny bites. Tiny barbeque sandwiches, shrimp, tiny
salads at every plate. Tiny little
chicken bites wrapped in filo. Elena was
in charge of the décor. She had
completed her own valentines weeks ago, and was stressed out trying to get her
little brother to care. She forced him
to make one for Madi, and then he petered out.
We sat down and had prayer. The meal
spiraled downhill from there. Gene had
bought those candy necklaces on a stretchy string. (double gross yuck yuck, I am not fond of
them) Madi saw them and was not having
any other type of food. She started out
by flinging her shrimp on the floor.
Loud crying. Screaming. Taking a
bite of sandwich. Spitting it like it
was gagging her. She was sent to her
room. Gene asked if she had had a nap. I testily answered “yes”.
Brandt suddenly became torqued that his valentine from Elena didn’t have
chocolate with it like Gene and mine did.
He kept saying rude (but funny) things about it. THE CHILD DOES NOT EVEN LIKE CHOCOLATE, but he
was so upset that Elena chose to give him a pencil instead of candy. It was a lose/lose situation.
Dessert was my chocolate dipped strawberries, and regular strawberries. Brandt asked if he could please have cereal
instead. We said no. YOU WILL EAT THOSE
STRAWBERRIES AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY, SON! Madi joined us again at the table. She ate nothing for supper, and then she
sneaked a candy necklace and we pretended not to notice.
By 7:00, the children had abandoned the table, and I was left with a messy
kitchen. Gene was having problems with
the silo, and had to go climb it. I sat
down and thought Really, I said No to a
date night for this? Can’t I go back
in time and change my mind?
I cleaned up the kitchen while the children tore apart the
living room. And so that ended my 2012
Valentines day. It was kind of like
expecting a baby kitten, but getting a baby gerbil instead.
And I tried to stay off of facebook because everybody else seemed to be having the time
of their lives.
I learned my lesson. I will never say no to a date again.
Now if you’re wondering if I’m the kind of person who always
has horrible things happen to them, and is a real Debbie Downer, its not
true. I usually choose to write about
the less glorious things in life.
Stephen King was asked once why he always writes horror stories, and he said “What
makes you think I have a choice?” That’s
how I feel. I physically cannot tell a story about myself
that ends glowey. Don’t feel bad, if something wonderful would have happened last night, there
would be no post today because that’s just no fun .
And so I’ll end with some pictures.
Captured by myself and my offspring.
Do you know the feeling when you want to make sure people KNOW that you
suck at something, and you want them to know that You Know you suck? That’s how I feel about photography. I feel
compelled to post the most awful pictures of myself. Please forgive.
Our table, with our youngest daughter wearing a swimsuit.
Because thats what she wears every day lately.
The Happy One
The One with the Smeary Mouth
Titled: Motherhood makes me Glow. or
It will be a happy day when Andreas Triple Chin Resumes is Status as a Double or
Elena please stop playing with my camera!
Titled
The Magical night or
Husband Drapes over Wife or
What is that Cool New Sepia Tone?
Andrea Esh 
I AM sorry your evening didn’t turn out more “sparkly”, but your post made me laugh….especially the picture captions! You are a brave lady. Too many times I am too scared to show the “down & dirty” and I know that is not being real…..I am trying, so thanks for the encouragement!
So sorry about how your Valentine’s Day went. And yes, I think you learned a good lesson…never turn down a date with your man for a family date! Because when kids are involved…it is always kind of a crap shoot! Hey, at least you tried. And somehow I think you seem like the kind of person who could laugh something like this off pretty easily.And about not being able to write about the “glowey” stuff in your life…I hate it when people who blog are ALWAYS rosey and everything is peaches and cream. But…I DO think it is OK to be real. Like, here is something really bad that happened but then another time…hey, here is something really good that happened. Its OK. People will still like you even if at times you seem to “have it together”.
like Audrey said; when kids are involved it’s always kind of a crap shoot. altho’ i did not say no to a hot date last night, i WAS sort of secretly hoping he would have arranged one on the sly, even tho’ i’d graciously told him to not worry about it and we’d do the family V-day thing. serves me right.love the pics. and the captions even more!
Can’t talk. Laughing too hard. You know the other reason it’s easier to write about the stuff that went wrong instead of the good stuff? It’s waaaaaaay funnier. It’s like, the drama and conflict and plot is all there, you just have to describe it. The good stuff? Well, it takes work to make it interesting. And before you go getting all apologetic about it, just keep writing about the bad stuff. I know well enough to know there is plenty of normal and some unbelievably good thrown into the mix. 😉
love it! love the dark side of blogging on occasion. I think if you were all cheery and unsarcastic, and rosy all the time the rest of us would be like, ‘who are you, and what have you done with Andrea??”
came over to your blog on recommendation. This sounds bad but I actually smilied through your post. I don’t have kids, well I’m not even married but I’ve done enough babysitting to have lived through a couple of dinners like this with kids 🙂 So sorry yours had to be on Valentine’s.I’m like you, I’d rather post about the bad then the good it’s so much more interesting 🙂
Now I have morning after guilt. 🙂 I went fishing for me attention yesterday!
i love you. not in a Valentine’s sort of way, of course.but. seriously. drama with twists. FUNNY twists. is definitely your forte.i love your posts. once in a while i still think about that one you did…something about “owning your children.” it stuck tight.Valentines here consisted of me getting home at 7 from grocery shopping with all 4 kids and the blinged up table went off the to-do list. but Weldon got a rose for each of his ladies. but i was in such a snit over some marriage plot gone awry that the moment of awwwww just slipped on by…:)
Andrea, this was your best piece yet. I do love it–your writing that is. We did the family thing too and it was super stressful. That’s what Kirsten wanted though. Maybe we”ll do the date thing this weekend..
funniest valentine’s post i read.you are awesome, stephan king.
Love this. Sounds EXACTLY like our house and then people wonder why I hardly have any hair left. “Why yes, I did pull them out thankyouverymuch!” On nights like this, the only good think I can think of is that MAYBE one day I’ll be able to laugh about it. You did great! 🙂
Hilarious! Gotta go, Ava throwing a hissy fit. You are NOT alone. 🙂
i could write a pretty close scenerio to this…. chapter 2.you had me smiling.
This morning I was being disciplined and said to myself, “I will not read posts, I will only check who posted.” But then I saw that there was one from Andrea and my resolve melted. You’re just the best.LOVE your daughter forcing your son to make cards and him petering out, Madi sneaking the necklace and you not noticing, and Gene going out to fix the silo. I mean, I don’t love it, but it’s just so familiar.But wow. All those sweet foods you made! No wonder you were feeling cross by evening. I really like people who write downer stuff. Instant connection there. But not all of us can make it so terribly funny.Last photo: perfect. 🙂
We had a Christmas eve supper a few months ago that fell under this category…nothing went right. The 5-yr old burned his fingers on the lamp we lit for our candlelight supper and the 9 yr old was pouting in her bedroom because I had disciplined her after she “smarted off” to me one too many times. And me?? I was frantically trying to get my “fun” supper together. I was almost in tears myself. I finally called my husband in from i-can’t-remember-where for moral support. It ended up we had a fun evening after everything settled down.One small comfort, I don’t really think children remember all the bad that happens in cases like this. They just remember the excitement and fun of planning it and it happening. Well, at least I hope it’s that way. 🙂
i’m not laughing and smiling about the bad…but about the Real Deal! this was a hilarious post. so many been theres, done thats, will be doing agains as i read. it’s just how it is sometimes *and for us? especially holidays. like it’s a set up for disaster.* and quite frankly it means the world when you have people in your life who are okay with just saying it how it is. what really did me in here was your son passing on YOUR AWESOME CELEBRATORY STRAWBERRIES and asking for cereal. because oh yeah. it’s happened here.
I know I’m way behind the times because this is way past Valentine’s Day now that I’m finally reading this…. but oh my word, this is just too good. 🙂 I just liked it because it’s so true to life. Those dates and all are just wonderful, but reality is – they just don’t always happen. My day involved a doctor appointment an hour away, and I both kids with me because there was no babysitter to be found. Arrived home in time to fRaNtiCaLlY try to pull a decent meal together, and then serve it exhausted as could be with two little girls who didn’t have naps and didn’t mind showing it. Yeah. Real life here too. 🙂 And facebook seemed all dreamy and rosy, the few minutes I poked my head in. Ha! Guess people like us don’t do facebook posts on those days. :)Really looking forward to meeting you this week!! 🙂
Why is this so funny when I read about it in other people’s lives but not my own?!I definitely agree with the lady who said that the kids will remember the excitement and the good stuff, not the stress. And as wives and mothers, the occasional date is great to remember that we’re cherished wives, but that daily nitty gritty with the children or trying to do special family traditions is more fulfilling. You’re making memories! Sarah
i so loved this! and…………… how did i miss it before? i love your family– more fun to read about than the Perfect Parsons any day. 🙂
This blog is genuinely impressive in all aspects.Valentine Day