Don’t you just love when life flashes a big bright light in your face and you see yourself as you really are? Just had one of those “defining moments” and it really sickened me to see that my “convictions” when it comes right down to it, flew out the window.
See the last couple of months I’ve been thinking a lot about homeless people, and how I truly have such an empathy in my heart towards them. And like, really truly they are just like us, but nobody cares or understands them. So anyway I was all geared up to show (God I guess) how much I care for the outcasts of society. Today was test day I suppose, and well let’s just say I failed.
So me & Elena are at Walmart and this gristly old guy with a tattered blue coat goes walking by. he ignores everybody else but chooses to yell at me. (he had one volume – xloud) “HEY I GOT THREE DIMES, THIRTY CENTS, IT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING.” I smiled and nodded. “IS THIS YOUR BABY?” I smiled and nodded. He wonders off and I didn’t think much off it but wondered in my head if he was homeless.
So I go to Taco Bell for lunch and what do you know he sits right beside me. “DO YOU KNOW AMOS BURKHODER?” I smiled and shook my head. “HE SELLS LOTS OF MULCH BUT HE DOESN’T TAX IT. WE PAY TO MUCH FOR TAXES. GOD MADE THE EARTH AND THE GOOD BOOK SAYS YOU CANT TAX GOD. IT SAYS SO. WE PAY SO MUCH TAXES. PEOPLE ARE SO GREEDY BUT THEY WILL PAY THE GOOD BOOK WAS SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER. While he’s saying this I’m thinking what if he’s an angel. I’m sure he’s an angel waiting to see If I really am a christian or just say I am. I need to buy him a burrito. I wonder if people are staring at us. Is he really homeless? I leaned down and put my purse closer to my feet. Oh duh, that looked like I thought he was gonna run off w/ my purse. Should I go stand in line and get him something, man there’s like 10 people in line. It’s just so impractical with Elena. If it would just be me I would but since she’s along. nah.
So folks I wish I could tell you that I bought him a meal and offered him friendship but I did nothing. After he was done w/ his spiel he walked off. And while I drove home I asked God for another chance. So, If you see an old guy around Lancaster Walmart tell him I’m sorry, and that I owe him a burrito.
11 thoughts on “Defining Moment”
That’s almost funny! I’m laughing – but I shouldn’t. ~ Pete.
ah, a good real story. i am so much like you. i want to do so much but then when God gives me an oppurtunity i think i let him down a lot. thanks for being real and honest.
We think we’re so spiritual, and we really do have good intentions. But…when the test comes, we miss it. At least i do many times. Your honesty is so refreshing.
Well andrea – I think i know the guy – he did kinda the same thing to me actually – I think he has a preocupation with money – cause he said almost the same exact things to me. There are a few guys like that that hang out at walmart – if you go there often (like me) you notice them – there’s a guy that always follows you around and coos at the babies too. I’m not any better than you when it comes to reaching out. Shannon
I hate that! It happens to me so many times and it’s usually because of my stinking pride. There are quite a few half-mental guys like that around here and once we offered one a coat and he totally freaked out on us and ever since I’m so afraid they will make a big scene and embarrass me. Dumb, I know. Anyway, the more I think of it, the more I’m convinced that they need a friend first and then maybe food or money. Why is it so hard to BE JESUS?
good story, bin convicted of the same thing…. hey um i wuz wondering if you could get me directions home from the philidelphia airport? or maybe the fone number for the nice policeman in maryland? i’m still giggling about that 1…
🙂 You gave me a grin… – m
i can def. relate, too often when opportunities come, i’m not okay with stepping out of my little comfort zone to seize them. good post.
hey andrea—- could you send me your address so i can send you and invitation?my thanks to firstname.lastname@example.org
i have to agree with pairachopstix.why is it so hard to be jesus? i think it happened so you would ahve something interesting to put on xanga!! 😀 kidding..