Best of Skymall 2011 Edition

It’s that time of year again.  It’s time to peruse the internet, the
shopping malls, and the catalogues hoping to find a gift for your loved ones
that perfectly encapsulates how you feel about them.

Lucky for you, I’ve done your work for you again this year.

Again, these are all 100% real products, that in exchange
for currency, you receive actual merchandise.
Everything is linked, the prices range from $$$$ to $, so there is a
little in here for everybody.  Happy Shopping!

7-1/2 Foot Slumber Bear

A question most parents find themselves asking is:  Can there ever be enough stuffed
animals?  The answer is a resounding NO!
There CANNOT possibly be enough stuffed animals.  There is always room for one more.

Imagine the squeals of delight from your
youngsters as daddy drags a refrigerator box to the Christmas tree on Christmas
morning.  Only 50 pounds of fill!  Doubles as a bed!! Eyeballs can exceed 20
pounds of pull!  At 599.00, it’s an investment you can’t afford to miss.

Andrea’s warning:  Parents must accompany
children while opening package in case mild injuries occur.

2. Peace Toaster (for your pacifist friends)

What could possibly be more fun than eating a piece of toast with the peace
sign on it?  You know, I couldn’t think
of anything more enjoyable either.

When you are in the midst of another
argument about the wars, schooling choices, or the presidential election, pop
this beauty out, and spread some peace.

3. Clothes

First, Hog farmers are notoriously hard to buy for.  They will love this three dimenstional pig
gazing from their chest. So cute!

Here’s a something a bit classier for a lady
friend.  It’s saucy. It’s snazzy. It’s sparkly.

I know, it’s hard to commit when you can’t
picture your friends wearing it.  Well, I
solved that problem as well.  This is me
wearing “saucy silver” on a cloudy day.

You are welcome.

4. Art
You can never go wrong with art.  It screams trendy and sophisticated.
Buying the genuine pieces is pricey
= To Expensive.

so I’m glad to introduce you to Squirrel Thinker.

= Just Right

I call it art for the common folk.


These days people want experience. (think Starbucks) For those people who love to
enjoy life’s simple pleasures, this pulsating disco showerhead is sure to

6. Bob Ice Cube trays
Quote from manufacture. “Even if your name’s not Bob, your ice cubes “bob” in your
drink. And if your name is Bob? Woah.”

I have nothing more to say.

7. For the Angler/Sports guy

My husband is not much of a fisherman or a sports enthusiast, but if he were these next two things would
be at the top of my list.

This Wrist Strap Fish-Finder, would be a hit.
Who has time to sit and fish when you can drop your line, and SNAP fresh
grouper on the grill?!

Then of course he will want to chill.
Nothing looks better for chilling than this mega-monster sized lawn chair.

It has 6 cup holders! It weighs 35 lb! Who
wants their feet to touch the ground?  It
takes a real man to let them dangle.

8.        P-ez (for the lady on the go)

A portable urinal for ladies. How handy and practical. This little prize should be tucked into
every modern gal’s handbag.  This could also be a real
neat stocking stuffer.  AND when a
product is also a pun?=BONUS

These 10 items will take your Christmas
shopping from DRAB to FAB.

If you are still not satisfied, you can check out my 2010 Skymall Edition.  Those items are still available.

The Esh Christmas – What you’ve been dying to know…

Every year Gene & I make the same mistake.  We don’t grab the camera until the gifts are pulled out.   Which really makes no sense to me because I enjoy the food as much as the gifts. (Mullets take food very seriously)  So year after year I have picures of gift-giving at the Esh Christmas as if that’s all we do all day.  That’s not true, we do many things.

First thing we do: Race through the food line like it is a marathon with a 500 dollar prize at the end.  Ok not everyone, mostly just the children, but remember there were 31 of them.  When I first joined this crazy wild family I hung back and nicely let everyone go first.  Not anymore!  When the “Amen” was said I pounced on the food line before the food was even put out.  Ran it to Elena who was sitting at the children’s table waiting.  Now what I like about this family is I just set Elena down with the other 2-4 year olds and let them eat by themselves.  The six year olds made so much noise that she was entertained just watching and occasionally putting some of food in her mouth.

Next: The adults file through in a more orderly fashion.  Then we sit around tables and eat and talk.  Now I usually pray that some kind of interesting debate/discussion/argument is brought up about politics/moral dilemmas/current events because it is just so interesting when the Esh family has a discussion like that.  It’s my favorite part.  But this Christmas my table discussed the price of land in Lancaster, which is a yawner. 

Next:  Dessert.  Now I seriously think I am the only Esh that actually eats the dessert.  The rest just look at it I guess.  I mostly saw people eating fruit.  And fruit is technically not a dessert.  So I just kept stealing the “finger-licken good brownies” when I thought nobody was watching. They were really awesome too; I could steal quite a few, because well, everyone else was eating fruit.

Next:  By now children have a coup and demand gifts.  And this is when Gene or me pulls out the camera. And year after year we have pictures like this:

 in the Dining Room #2 in the Dining Room #1







I had a tough time picking out which photo to post.  On the left you have the chandelier hanging down and waay across the room you can see about three peoples faces.   If I were to point out who everyone is on the right picture it would go like this:  L-R Me(the white veiled head) perched in the corner because the Eshes make me shy. Jesse, behind the post, Michelle, behind Jesse, Brian, behind Michelle, Krissy half or her invisible because of the light, etc etc


Heads w Brandt
Here is Brandt getting his gift.  He is the Esh head in the center of the other Esh heads.  
I know he is thrilled with his gift because he said “ga ga” or maybe it was ” pplllbby”, but either way it means
he was thrilled.

 Elena & Maria  









Here is Elena & her cousin with the front-packs Gene’s mom made for them.  Elena was delighted with it
I think she wore it all day.  Notice I said think that’s because I really don’t know what she did all day.  I’m assuming if their was a big hullabalew I would have found out about it.


Grandpa Reading  
Grandpa reading to four kids from four families.


Elena & Amala  
  Elena with her cousin.  Last year they fought all day long, but this time around they were best
buddies.  Again, I think they were best buds, since their were no teethmarks, black-eyes, or blood. 

This is where the pictures end.  The rest of the day the boys do manly things like play football in short sleeves, and the girls do girly things like take walks all budled up in our winter coats.  Then we eat supper (go back to The First thing we do)

Oh, by the way when we leave it’s an all out cleaning party with all available grandchildren.  The sweeper is drug out and the carpets that are now crunchy, are swept up.  The 2-6 year olds blame the 1 year old babies for the crunchy carpets.  Then people leave with various items that belong to other families.  It’s a big family, but we have a lot of fun. 

So, how was your Christmas?