I had been pro-life like forever.  I remember having an argument in 6th grade and switching to the Republican side when I realized that “Bill Clinton wants abortions”.

So I read the books, went to the banquets, and talked about someday volunteering at the clinics.

And then a close friend of ours had an unexpected pregnancy.  She was young.  Gene and I hadn’t had any children yet.  We knew that terminating the pregnancy was in their plans.  We had the couple over.  We said we would help.  They cried and we cried.

I have no idea if the stuff I said that night was kosher.  But I remember thinking that this wasn’t supposed to happen.  In all the stories, the person changes her mind right?  The friend offers love and support and she chooses life.  The baby ends up living. (and possibly writing a book).

That’s not this story.

I wish they would have changed their mind.  They didn’t.  I wish she would have learned from this experience.  She didn’t.  I wish there would be another eight year old running around.  There’s not.

When I see her we stop and chat.  We chit-chat and act normal, but we never spoke about it again.

I’ve heard that aborted babies are the forgotten ones.  No baby, you are not forgotten.

So why was this a defining moment?  It showed me the darkness of my own heart.  Since she made her own bed I wanted her to lie in it.  I wanted her to be haunted by the little one.  I wanted her hands to feel empty. I wanted her to have sleepless nights.  Sometimes I still want that.

Now though more than anything I want to be able to say “God please forgive her, she didn’t know what she did.”

It’s so much easier to love the babies than to love the mothers.

Have a wonderful Thursday everybody,
Andrea

And Here is beautiful post written by Becca on the same topic

5 thoughts on “Another defining moment

  1. Randy7777 says:

    What’s interesting is that abortion actually went down under the Clinton Administration. I think the society became more tolerant and supportive of single mothers having babies.  I’m pro life myself. South Dakota just passed a waiting time bill for abortions.  Testimony given showed that Planned Parenthood pressured a lot of women or looked the other way when someone else pressured the woman. 

  2. appalolly says:

    Wow!  That would be a really tough thing to deal with…feeling SO strongly about the choice that someone else should make and then watching them make their own choice, wrong as it seems.Believe me, I am sure she IS haunted by what she did.  I think it is rare that someone who has an abortion isn’t haunted by it.  She’s probably living in her own private hell. But you’re right, she needs the love of Jesus too!

  3. lwstutz says:

    “It’s so much easier to love the babies than to love the mothers.” That’s right. These poor little innocent kids…victims of their parent’s choices.

  4. god_stories says:

    Thanks for honestly sharing!My beloved little sister…six years younger than me, shared with our birth family a few years ago that she had an abortion before marriage.She says that like the apostle Paul (a fellow murderer) she is forgiven.  Why did she do it…and never invited anyone in the family into her decision?  I’ll tell you that she is a good person and a GREAT mom.  She loves her kids…and I love her, and have always considered her a gift in my life.She’s shared with other women her story, choices, and redemption…and is a leader in her church.  Why’d she do it?  I think she’d say she didn’t fully consider the consequences…or perhaps wasn’t even aware of them.  She was busy, she was afraid, it was an available option, lots of women do it…so she made that choice.She, like me, and all of us, is a sinner.  I love my sister…and honestly have a MUCH more honest and intimate relationship with her these days…and suspect all her relationships are so.  As she continues to walk into a deeper awareness of who she is…as it seems by your stories you are too

  5. @god_stories – Thank you for your kind comments. Since I always love a good redemption story, I am happy for your sister! 

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